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Why you're procrastinating, and what to do about it

1/19/2024

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Are you already procrastinating your New Year’s resolutions? Finding yourself scrolling social media to avoid that thing you said you would do? (Same!)

Procrastination, like many self-sabotaging tendencies, is rooted in emotion. We might experience: 
  • Overwhelm about how big the task is 
  • Fear about the outcome
  • Dread about how we will feel when completing the task

Three small steps can help move past procrastination:

1. Identify the emotion you are experiencing – this alone can help reduce the emotion by up to 50%.

Not sure how to pinpoint the emotion? Try using this emotions wheel. 

2. Ask yourself helpful questions about that emotion, i.e.:

  • How can I make this task smaller/less overwhelming?
  • What is the outcome that I fear, and how likely is this to happen? 
  • What assumptions am I making, and how could I be wrong?
  • What if it turns out better than I expect?
  • What feeling am I dreading experiencing as I complete the task?
  • How could I make the task fun/calmer/lighter?

3. Take one small action.

Research shows that taking even one small action can help reduce anxiety, since anxiety often comes from thinking (and overthinking!) about the things we need to do. 

Examples of actions to take:


  • Spend a few minutes journaling or meditating on the emotion/anxiety that is keeping you from moving forward (try this guided meditation).
  • Make a list of smaller action steps/goals that relate to your larger goals.
  • Is reading more one of your resolutions? Read just 5 pages of a book.
  • Want to work out more? Start with just 15-20 minutes at a time. Even this can help boost your energy and mood, and may motivate you to keep going.

4.  (Bonus!) Celebrate small wins.

​Did you finally START the task you were putting off? Take a moment to breathe, say a prayer of gratitude, congratulate yourself, take a walk, buy yourself flowers – whatever you need in order to give yourself the recognition you deserve.

Notice what you accomplished and how you overcame whatever was holding you back. Write it down.
​

How will you continue this momentum and implement this lesson going forward?



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5 Essential Steps to Setting Goals You’ll Actually Reach

12/28/2023

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Everyone seems to be talking about goals and New Year’s resolutions this time of year. Setting goals is wonderful – but if we stop there, we may be setting ourselves up to fail! 

Put simply, success in reaching our goals is determined by how personally invested we are in those goals, the process we use to plan and carry them out, and the motivation, energy and support we have along the way.

So – how do we set ourselves up for success in 2024? 

1. Prioritize quality over quantity.

First, determine how important each goal is to your life, and make sure you have the self-motivation to pursue each one. Ask yourself: 
  • What is important about this goal?
  • If I achieved it, what would be different in my life?
  • How does this goal connect with my top 5 values?
  • How does this goal help me become the person I want to be in 5 years?

If the number of goals you have feels overwhelming, it may be helpful to rank your goals in order of importance. Use the above questions as a guide; then, rank your list, and focus on your top 1-3 goals – or any number that feels realistic yet challenging enough to you.

2. Use the right goal-setting formula.

Some people thrive with specific daily goals, which may or may not be connected to a larger goal. Some people work best with a general vision or direction, and flexibility to fill in the blanks as they go. Understanding your planning style will help you know how to set goals that resonate with you. 

To understand your style, ask yourself:
  • Do I like to set specific goals?
  • Do I like to head in a general direction and let the details unfold?
  • Do I jump right into activities without planning at all?
Then, ask yourself:
  • Do I want to set goals that fit my planning style, or do I want to challenge myself to set goals outside of my planning style?
  • How will I set goals that fit my planning style/challenge my planning style?
  • How essential are goals in order for me to take action? Do I need to set goals, or is there another recipe that I have found to be successful in becoming the person I want to be?

 3. Plan the process behind the goals.
    
As author James Clear reiterates in his book Atomic Habits, we tend to fail in reaching a goal if we focus too much on the goal iteslf – and not enough on the process behind it. If we know where we want to go, we must also be mindful of how we’ll get there! For each of your goals, ask yourself (adjusting as needed for your planning style):
  • What will it take to reach this goal?
  • Based on my answer to the question above, what influential factors do I need to focus on in order to make progress toward my goal?
  • What smaller milestones related to those factors will help me reach my longer-term goal?
  • What daily/weekly/monthly/quarterly action items will get me to those milestones?
    ​

 4. Anticipate obstacles and plan to overcome them.

Chances are, reaching our goals requires us to overcome challenges or habits that tend to get in our way. If we didn’t face these challenges, all of our goals would already be met and we wouldn’t need to set them in the first place! For each goal, ask yourself:
  • What will get in my way of achieving this?
  • How do I want to handle that obstacle?
  • What do I need in order to handle it that way? 
  • What steps will I take to get/provide what I need?
     
5. Prepare your support system.

Support is essential to our success and fulfillment as human beings. In fact, the evidence-based Intentional Change Theory holds that “a set of trusting, growth-fostering relationships” is important to create positive, sustainable change (more here). For each of your goals, ask yourself:
  • How will I support myself in achieving this goal?
  • How will I hold myself accountable?
  • Who else can support me/from whom else do I need support?
  • What aspects of my environment will support me?/What else do I need from my environment?

Even with the best of intentions, sometimes, we just can’t seem to meet that recurring goal year after year–which may indicate that there’s a bigger obstacle at the root. Or, we don’t have the support/accountability we really need to meet our goals. We may need help getting clarity on our bigger vision and values, or simply with planning our goals. A coach can help with all of these things! I'd love to support your success in becoming an even better version of yourself in 2024.


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    Maria Lemakis helps people find fulfillment in life and work through empathic and intuitive coaching + communications expertise. It brings her deep joy to support clients in reaching their goals, and finding happiness and purpose.

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